So it was time to have my teeth cleaned again yesterday. And as I have written about previously in I bet she likes cake I believe my dental hygenist might be mildly retarded. Today's conversation was about how everybody is stealing her Senso-dyne when she's off. And without the Senso-dyne she won't be able to do her gum massage. Realizing that I could be left with tense gums, I suggessted a "lock box" or small portable safe, like the kind you can buy at Target or in her case Wal*Mart. She got very perplexed and told me she didn't have the counter space.
But my favorite part was at the end with me laying flat in the chair after completing my cleaning including annual x-rays. She and I were waiting on the Dentist to arrive and give me the all clear. It was taking awhile and I was entering a trance as we waited in the cold silence. Then, without warning, there was an odor. The kind of odor that in a polite public setting, you hold your breath and hope for time to go by quickly.
Acknowledging or trying to excuse such a transgression never helps anyone involved. You just have to move on. However, realizing her faux pas, she quickly grabbed a can of air freshner. As she sprayed it about the room, she began telling me that it just gets so "musty" in there and especially in "this back corner". The same back corner she had been standing at prior to needing to spray air freshner. Once the "musty" smell was gone, I had to stop the giggles from coming. It took a heavy sigh (thank god for the air freshner) and I had to pick a spot on the wall to stare at while I waited on the Dentist to rescue me.
I just wish somebody could be there with me to witness the glory that is this woman. I've gone from the "What is wrong with you" phase to now expecting her to enterain me on a grand scale. She's my monkey. My little retarded monkey.
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