Junkie Whore, Interrupted: Property Ladder Wrap-Up Edition

Here are some fun facts and reasons we were barely seen or heard from during the month of August:

We spent a total of 36 days equating to about 339 hours working on the investment property.  33 of those were CONSECUTIVE Days.

I owned it less than 60 days before selling it.  These results are not typical.

I was very lucky but I also did my research prior to purchase.

I now have a 60gb Ipod with Hi-Fi.  It's dreamy.

I need a security system.

One thing will always lead to another no matter how well you try to anticipate.

I did a great job anticipating.

The tiny cuts on the ends of my fingers are healing nicely.

Wal*Mart carries the best line of paint(Kilz Colors) and the lowest prices on painting supplies.

I will buy an expensive sprayer before I paint an entire house again.  It's worth every penny as long as it can hold multiple gallons.

Some people actually like cheap dark paneling and will tell you that they wished you hadn't painted it.  2 days after you spent 2 days priming and painting it.

It is possible to inhale too many toxic fumes.  Some toxic fumes will make you nauseas.

The prospective buyers who reported to me they could still smell dog urine in the back bedroom were wrong.  It was caked on people urine from the adjacent bathroom they smelled.  Cleaning the bathroom just brought it all to the surface.

It only took 2 days to regain the feeling in my fingertips after scrubbing the urine soaked bathroom with some caustic, intensive cleaners.  I seriously couldn't open jars or tops for a while.

Somebody who drives up in an old, beat up, junked up sub-compact car is either too poor to afford your $300k renovation or too cheap to pay for your $300k renovation.  In my case, she was cheap (and rude).

Make notes of every conversation that takes place with buyers/buyers representatives.  It's amazing what some people forget when they fuck up.

The resurfaced bathtubs looked great.  I would resurface an old tub before I would replace it now.

We never found any lost stashes from the junkie that used to live there.  We looked pretty hard too.  We wanted to buy more expensive fixtures for the place.

If you ignore the belligerent neighbor, eventually he'll quit asking you to fix his pool drain cap that one of your workers broke.

A pool is not supposed to be drained into the public sewer system.  Make sure to bring this up to the belligerent neighbor.

I was informed by Neighbor A that Neighbor B was 2nd generation Arab.  I believe that I was told this because I lived closer to Neighbor B, the 2nd generation Arab, and could help Neighbor A keep an eye on this potential sleeper cell.

Don't forget to thank the neighbors that helped you keep an eye on the property.  Even the 2nd generation Arab.

Try to ignore the people that ask if you are going back to "work" after you finish the rehab.

That giant, long vanity in the bathroom?  Double check that it's not 2 vanities under 1 counter top before you assume you can't replace it without a special order (i.e. $$$).

Take a break after a certain number of days.

Caulk and Caulk related products are your best friends.  Goo B Gone is your BFF.

I think after a month or so, I might be ready for my next one.  I want a super deluxe portable tennis ball machine and a bigger house for my iPod.

Comments

[Linda]

I'm so happy that the experiment in flipping went so well for you (seriously). Now that things are settling down, can we schedule from social time? I miss you and Ben (and Jen)! I don't know if I want to play Monopoly with you, though -- you seem to have an unnatural advantage in the property buying area.

[Jenn Shady]

Do I see a challenge of Monopoly on the horizon? Do we have 2 days to spare? Maybe we should settle for some poppy version of Trivial Pursuit (the answer is always Steve Jobs when in doubt)....Linda, I must have your email address so I can torture you like I torture the rest of my friends with random randoms. We need to grill soon.