Ode to Gym

So I have been going to the gym a little more frequently now that I have my iPod.  And I have a few issues that need to be discussed:

1. What happened to the guy that looked like a model and always wore skin tight workout clothes?  I miss him.
2. Will someone in a position of authority please tell the older,heavier (read: extra sweaty), handi-capable gentlemen that if he would simply shower ahead and wash his gym jacket (which is zipped to the neck) and sweat pants, I wouldn't make faces at him and start gagging when I am forced to workout next to him?  Geezus, you stink worse than my beloved decomposing dead dog ever did.
3. How many more years is the guy who is practically bald going to hold onto those three strands in the front and continue to spike them up in a effort to conceal the large bald surface behind it?  Seriously, you are 5"2 which means everyone can see the top of your head.  Who in the world do you think is falling for it?
4. I am proud of the fact that my gym gives financial assistance to those that need help.  But just because you are poor doesn't mean you can't afford to put on your t-shirt like everyone else (read: I am not attracted to you; because you are poor). (that's only  a joke- it's just gross)
5. If I "accidentally" want to leave the premises with a thread bare workout towel so I don't sweat in my car, don't stop me or act like you are about to hit the button that opens the trap door beneath my feet when I tell you "No", I am not giving it back.  If I say I'll bring it back, you're just going to have to trust in me.  Besides, Jesus told me I could have it.

 

Comments

[Linda]

I'm ashamed to say that I have about ten of their towels at home. Ashamed, yes. Returning them, no. Sorry, but hey -- I like those towels! They're perfect for wrapping up my wet head straight out of the shower. Just the right size. And free, no? I admit that it's unethical but I rationalize by remembering that I give them almost $100 a month for roughly 20 hours of workout time. Maybe I'm too cheap. Okay, I'm going to stop now.

[Me again]

Stop writing, not stop stealing their towels.